It’s been a while gobshitters, it’s been a while. Largely because adjusting to our new family way of living has been a massive bloody shock. Who’d have thunk working full time and raising a child would be such hard graft? I’m lucky: Mr Gobshite stays at home with Tiny, whilst moonlighting as a part time beer monger. However I’m still knackered and drinking wine while staring slack jawed at shit TV has been preferable to writing.
Standard excuse made, it’s not the only reason I’ve struggled to write. I feel like the world I birthed Tiny into, nine long months ago, is a totally different place to the one I hoped for him. A place that, frankly speaking, has made me feel rather less funny. Despite the frequently biting tone of my blog, I’m a very optimistic soul, I don’t see the point in dwelling, brewing and holding grudges. That said: I’d never seen a live stream of a human being die next to his partner and daughter on the 6pm news before. I’d never witnessed my country divided over political choices, accompanied by a constant vomiting of racist attitude. I’d never watched an airport I’ve stood in (and booked to go to again) be blown to pieces. I’ve never seen dead children washed up on a tourist beach, while bloated bigots moan about the refugee crisis ruining their holiday. I’d never taken seriously that a man so repulsive I can’t even think of a funny simile about him, might actually really become president of the USA. I’d never considered that I’d feel like I’d let Tiny down, simply by bringing him into the world.
I didn’t know whether to write these things, as it’s not the image and tone I like to portray in my Gobshite guise. However I feel it would be rude to not address it and also it helps purge some of the negativity I feel. It’s at this point I feel the need to look back on a random quote I found in the rabbit hole that is a viral Facebook post:
Think of it like this; the world you live in today is fairer, more tolerant and less dangerous than the one you were born into. It might not seem it is but its true. And that world was better than the one I was born into. There is more tolerance, and less bigotry. The world my grandparents were born into was between two world wars. Children died of disease we now vaccinate against routinely. Science has saved billions of lives in that way. Your kids will be in a generation where living a good life that lasts for a century is going to be normal. But all this happens because you love them and bring them up to have the values you talk about. And you need to want it for everyone’s children, including those from a country where its leaders are evil murdering bastards. (please note: I would love to credit the person who wrote this but it really was one of those Internet blackhole Moments!)
So inspired by this I focus on positives. It’s bloody hard but I try and think of all the the things I’m not afraid of, such as: I’m not afraid of people with different skin to mine, *shock/horror* even the ones wearing a headscarf and sporting an accent! I’m not afraid of teenagers (they just piss me off eight hours a working day), I’m not afraid of opening my mouth and saying what I think. I’m not afraid to travel (hell I’ve booked three bloody holidays for next year.) I’m not afraid to try cheap make up, now Mr Gobshite works part time it can’t all be Mac and Nars if I still want weekly wine. I’m not afraid to maintain hope that Tiny will be a morally decent human being.
I think of the things I enjoy: wine.
I think of other things I enjoy, besides wine: the company, achievements, support and milestones of my friends and family. I am truely privileged to be surrounded by people who are creative, ambitious, outstanding parents, dreamers etc etc. Fuck some of them are just normal,which is nice. I enjoy Tiny growing and learning, with a pride I didn’t know was possible. Although I do wish he would learn a wave should stop after a few seconds and not involve simply raising hie erect hand above his head for several seconds….gets kinda awkward when he’s got a side parting. I enjoy seeing Mr Gobshite happy in his life and work in a way I’ve never seen before. I enjoy a comfortable life with choice.
Reflecting on what I’ve written, I can see I’m happy and fullifilled. Im greatful for this and hope it lasts. I may live in a world where that isn’t guaranteed but I should appreciate it, that I’m sure of.
As is my style I’m abruptly done here. My main concern about this post is that Mr Gobshite isn’t here to proof read and I can’t be arsed to wait for him to do so. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading, I’ll try to be more sarcastic and funny again next time. Maybe sending more wine will help, hint hint.
PS: Mum, I tried really hard not to say fuck or fucking during this post. Hope I made you proud, it was fucking hard work not to!
Gobshite and Tiny 