In a break from the norm, this entry is actually advice based. Like real life ‘here are some helpful things’ for you to consider in life. So, apologies to those of you here seeking an expletive filled rant, I’ll try and drop in a cheeky f bomb or two.
Mr Gobshite and I have always been avid fans of travelling both near and far. One of the first things I said, when he propositioned me was ‘look I’m really not very exciting, I like smug weekends away and going to bed early!’ When Tiny came along, we couldn’t wait to introduce him to our love of the world, so much so that in the first two years of his life he’s travelled to no less than four foreign countries, the south coast (we have family in Bournemouth) several times and uncountable other UK cities for weekends away. I’m frequently asked for hints and tips as to how we manage, especially as we don’t drive, so thought it about time I popped it down in one manageable space.
Deciding where to go:
One of the most important things about a holiday, is that it needs to be that: a holiday! We now put much more thought and research into our destinations, we want to enjoy the days with Albert and the nights to ourselves. There are many questions you can ask yourself to figure it out. Things we look for and want to know are:
• Is there a range of family friendly but interesting restaurants and bars that are open in the day? (So, we know we can eat out as a family without the risk of a bedtime tantrum!)
• How many public parks are there?
• What attractions can we visit, that are suitable for us all?
• What’s the public transport like?
• How far is the airport/train station from our location?
• Is it near somewhere that at night where we can get tasty food and drink for ourselves to cook/have in the apartment?
Most importantly though: Do YOU actually want to go? There are plenty of places that are aimed squarely at families and small children, that doesn’t mean you’re going to enjoy it. Don’t waste your money on something you’ll resent.
The basic ‘must have and do’ list
One of the first things we learnt about travelling with a small is: take as little as humanly possible, especially if you don’t drive! There is so much false fear around travelling with babies/toddlers about how much you need, when it’s not that bad.
• Absolutely first: Call/email your accommodation and check what they already have/can get their hands on. They might not have anything but enquiring politely can go a long way and cut down your packing list straight away. Several places we have stayed, despite not advertising them, have provided when asked: cots, highchairs, sippy cups, baby bedding, free milk, toddler toilet seat and sterilising facilities.
• One big case/bag is better than lots of small ones. The more you can cram into one bag the better. We now travel with an absolute limit of: one suitcase and a rucksack each, that is it. If it can’t fit in those, we don’t take it.
• With a bottle-fed baby: Milton cold water tablets or a mam self-sterilising bottle. No need to lump a big steriliser around, the tablets can just go in the sink. I also never had a problem storing the big ready-made cartons of baby milk in a hotel’s fridge.
• If there is WIFI/unlimited data: a two-way video call (using WhatsApp, Skype or Messenger) serves as a great space saving video monitor. Just remember to mute the adult end, so you don’t wake the kiddo. Be warned though: this also means you have to converse with your partner, as the phone will be in use.
• Little life arc travel cot and black out shade. It’s a game changer in the travel cot world! It’s so light and small it fits in a rucksack, under the buggy or flat packs into a suitcase, including the mattress.
• JoJo Maman Bebe, pack-away pocket high chair. Basically, an aide to tie them to a chair, weighs nothing and can be rammed in the bottom of a rucksack.
• Very few toys, trust me, resist the urge! We take a few pocket-sized items, all Tiny wants to do in unfamiliar places is play with the implements and ornaments provided.
• Scope out where your nearest convenience store is and question: Do I really need to pack nappies and wipes? Can you suck up being charged ‘tourist’ prices (if it’s that sort of place) in order to have less to carry?
• If you’re on an extended holiday: find out what the laundry situation is. Most big hotels will offer a service by which you can fill a bag for around £20 and have it washed and dried.
Accommodation
I won’t lie: we like luxury. I’m not a roughing it type. I also live and breathe for finding an outstanding deal, I’m really REALLY good at it…anyway I digress and that’s a whole other blog post!
Space is important! I know some parents are happy to share a room with their child, I’m not that parent. When he’s in bed, I can’t imagine anything worse than having to sit in semi darkness, whispering. That’s when you crack open the wine, converse and reconnect with your partner, not play bedroom charades whilst fearing breathing too loud. Apartments/houses and duplex hotel rooms are ideal for this. Air b&b is a wonderful place to look for them. Whilst I tend to set the filter to ‘whole place’ it’s worth nothing some of the ones where you are renting just a room, may have a communal guest area. On booking.com the filters allow you to narrow down the accommodation types.
Whilst about online booking: always check their child policy. I always search without putting Tiny’s details in and then call/email direct to check what they charge. Some allow children as old as twelve to stay for free/reduced rate, but the automated systems won’t show this.
The following is a list of places/hosts we have stayed that we have enjoyed/recommend.
• We’ve used Diamond Serviced Apartments several times. Generally great kid friendly spaces, laundry facilites at all sites. Always call them, they usually offer a good discount/better apartment if you query the price!
http://diamondservicedapartments.co.uk/
• Hotel Van Cleef. Bruges. Absolutely stunning five-star hotel, on the canal side, offering duplex apartments and an outstanding, affordable babysitting service. We were introduced to our dedicated English-speaking sitter over breakfast on our first morning and immediately felt at ease. Cots available but they charge high for them, take your own!
http://www.hotelvancleef.be/en/
• Carlos has a few apartments in the fabulous Porto, we have stayed in Paraiso. Phenomenal value and he provided pretty much every baby/toddler basic we needed.
https://www.airbnb.co.uk/users/12252817/listings
• Monumental apartment, Funchal is gorgeous. The one bedroom apartment is perfect for spending time together when the baby has gone to bed. The views are unrivalled and the fully equipped kitchen, including a washing machine, makes it family friendly.
• https://www.booking.com/hotel/pt/monumental-apartment-funchal1.en-gb.html?label=gen173nr-1FCAEoggJCAlhYSDNYBGhQiAEBmAEuwgEKd2luZG93cyAxMMgBFNgBAegBAfgBC5ICAXmoAgM;sid=b390648ded9af5e862e048b932d9ba54#availability
• The Resolution, Whitby. Whilst this is just a hotel room, we stayed in one of the vault rooms, on the lower ground floor, that had a big corner area, perfect for putting the cot in. Good for a short stay.
https://resolution-whitby.com/
• Mike and Trish no longer rent the home we stayed in, they have a new property in Bournemouth. Fabulous and welcoming hosts.
https://www.airbnb.co.uk/users/show/23305586
• Marmadukes, hotel in York has a stunning suite and family flat. We’ve stayed here before when booking very last minute and getting an unbelievably low price. Make a night of the sauna in the bathroom after a day wandering round the city.
https://www.marmadukestownhousehotelyork.com/
• This year we took our first ‘family resort ‘holiday. I’ll admit we were sceptical and total snobs about it: was it just going to be full of Brits abroad singing Agadoo and swilling warm carling? Macarella Spa and Suites was great and thankfully was nothing like our concerns. Low key family entertainment, a great/separate toddler pool, shop next door with all the basics (nappies, wipes, Ella’s kitchen baby food, formula etc.) In hindsight we think it was a little expensive but recommend based on atmosphere and location.
https://www.tui.co.uk/destinations/europe/spain/menorca/calan-bosch/apartments/grupotel-macarella-suites-and-spa.html
Trains and planes.
From my experience I’ve discovered the travelling part is the one most parents worry about, especially regarding what other people may think if your kid throws a wobbler. Here’s the fact: Your kid might cry on a train or plane, if other supposedly decent human beings can’t handle that, maybe they should consider private facilities. I do two things when Tiny has transport based meltdown: clearly do my best to shut it down and apologise to anyone it is disturbing. A kid crying is annoying but a parent doing nothing about it, is even more so! Let’s face it, the apology is for show…I’m not sorry but people like it. They are also likely to be more understanding and helpful with the situation. On all four-foreign holiday’s, Tiny has cried at some point during the flight, each time I’ve acknowledged it the surrounding passengers have responded with their own child based horror stories, tried to distract him, offered to hold him, offered me a sip of their wine (best one) or simply said ‘don’t worry about it.’ Just remember, most people have been there themselves and totally get it. When we travelled without Tiny, for a boozy weekend in Dublin, a kid screamed the whole flight. Real talk: I was delirious with happiness that it wasn’t me!
I must also note at this point, Mr Gobshite and I regularly use a sling, which I know isn’t for everybody. We find it so much easier than a buggy, to the extent that we didn’t take one on our trip to Porto in October. Tiny naps in it more and enjoys going in it more. It’s also one less thing to bloody carry. Now he’s bigger we pop him on our back, like a rucksack…except it’s human and likely to wipe cream cheese in your hair…surprisingly light feeling and easy to carry. I would recommend giving one a go, if you’ve not considered it already.
Before you travel:
• Plane: book seats at the very back, turbulence has the least effect here, it’s right next to the toilet and hostesses hang round here, if you need them.
• Train: look for deals in first class. You often don’t pay more than another £10 but get tonnes more room, free snacks and WIFI. Also worth noting, on a standard ticket, you can upgrade on the train, at the weekend for a relatively low price.
Before you get on the plane/train:
• Let them run off as much energy as humanly possible! The more knackered they are, they more likely they are to sit in their seat. Most airports will have a play area of some kind. Failing that head far away from the crowds to an empty gate.
• Train. Find out, if possible, from a platform attendant either where your carriage will be or, if you’ve not pre-booked, where the unallocated one will be. Saves running up and down the platform like a dickhead chicken when it pulls in.
• Plane. Get on last, like literally the very last. There is no joy in being invited on first, only to sit for 45 minutes while everyone else boards. Whoever decided young families should have boarding privileges was clearly a sadist. I can guarantee you: within seconds of sitting down, the hostess will insist you put the child belt on, at which point they will turn into a demented otter, with a unyielding vendetta against the fold down table in front. We’ve got on first once, once and never again.
• Plane. *Controversial* Calpol, half an hour before scheduled take off. I know not everyone will approve of me saying it, but it works for us. Without fail, Tiny is chilled out and sleeps for at least an hour of the journey. Whilst I’m not into recreational drugging of my child, this one I stand by.
On the plane/train:
• iPad parent the shit out of life. There can never be enough Mr Tumble to watch.
• Same goes for snacks, make the whole journey a never ending buffet.
• Let them walk around if they want. Trains and planes are perfect for it, it’s one aisle straight up and down, they can’t get lost or run off.
• Take some new ‘pocket’ toys. Something they can open and explore from the comfort of a seat.
• Plane. Lollypops for landing: really help with ear popping!
When you’re there:
Don’t expect everything to be perfect just because it’s a holiday. Your kid might still act like a douche for no reason, especially if it’s hot. In Menorca, Mr Gobshite and I put a lot of pressure on ourselves to enjoy a meal out on our anniversary. We should have just left it, not wasted the money and eaten pizza at the hotel. Instead we spaffed £50 up the wall on a meal neither of us enjoyed because Tiny decided to scream at the walls the entire time. Not everything has to be #makingmemories.
Don’t worry if your kid won’t eat in the day and will only eat chips once the sun has gone down, again especially if it’s hot. It’s what Tiny usually does and he’s still alive.
Do live by the best napping rule ever: drink when they sleep. Whether it’s a 10am gin by a pool or an afternoon beer in a bar. The aim of the game is to fit one in while you’ve got some adult time!
Do give your co-parent chance for some free time. Take an hour alone and enjoy the silence.
Do go out late, especially in Europe! Kids are welcome in most places and the vibe is welcoming.
When you get back:
BOOK THE NEXT BLOODY ONE!
Happy travels
Gobshite
xxx
Gobshite and Tiny 